Fosstofjan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, sapient elephant.

Fosstofjan created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fosstofjan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fosstofjan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Fosstofjan's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fosstofjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always remove shirts before entering holy places.