Bastrandotcar is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful tortoise.

Bastrandotcar created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastrandotcar, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bastrandotcar, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bastrandotcar's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bastrandotcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near birds while wearing indigo shoes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not wear ear rings marked with black.

5. Heed all signs.