Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, awe-inspiring shrew.

Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab, it will destroy your favourite star.

Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never whisper while facing west.

5. Never play with disobedient children.