Looprutcam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, staggering goblin.

Looprutcam created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Looprutcam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Looprutcam, he will remove you from existence.

Looprutcam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Looprutcam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill mites.

2. Erect three copper sculptures of Looprutcam on top of important buildings.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Looprutcam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Retreat if five grasshopers approach from the north.

5. Do not speak sacred words in winter.