Fottomkip Dutcadpop is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, intelligent crocodile.

Fottomkip Dutcadpop created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fottomkip Dutcadpop, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fottomkip Dutcadpop, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fottomkip Dutcadpop's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fottomkip Dutcadpop's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five mice approach from the east.

2. Never chant in autumn.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

5. Never mention tortoises.