Tettirulldit is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous grasshopper.

Tettirulldit created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettirulldit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tettirulldit, he will curse you with boils.

Tettirulldit's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tettirulldit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Never travel toward the south during winter.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

4. Do not name children after tortoises.

5. Never write about nebulae.