Satzenfig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, contented centaur.

Satzenfig created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satzenfig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Satzenfig, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Satzenfig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Satzenfig's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to vanity.

2. Do not name children after nematodes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about dark matter near capybaras while wearing violet tights and balancing six aluminium spheres on your neck.

5. Do not travel during spring.