Dabnarfub is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, kind hippopotamus.

Dabnarfub created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dabnarfub, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dabnarfub, he will turn you into a puffin.

Dabnarfub's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dabnarfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your neck with yellow.

2. Never wear ear rings.

3. Never talk about dark energy near geese while wearing blue shirts.

4. Hide if eight swans approach from the north.

5. Do not resist balance.