Bugomtwon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional raven.

Bugomtwon created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugomtwon, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bugomtwon, she will laugh at you.

Bugomtwon's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bugomtwon's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Do not consume wheat at dawn.

5. Always act with purity when addressing elders.