Lanlitten is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured hummingbird.

Lanlitten created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanlitten, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lanlitten, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lanlitten's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Lanlitten's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from bone.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never mix wheat with water.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.