Larnfebwabtig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, benevolent guinea pig.

Larnfebwabtig created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnfebwabtig, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Larnfebwabtig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Larnfebwabtig's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Larnfebwabtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Always obey Larnfebwabtig's priests.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing children.