Yatyartwot is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring porpoise.

Yatyartwot created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatyartwot, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yatyartwot, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yatyartwot's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Yatyartwot's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never allow snakes to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Do not prepare gooseberries while wearing ear rings.

4. Always count to eight before sleeping.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.