Padfarnbad is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, loving dingo.

Padfarnbad created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padfarnbad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Padfarnbad, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Padfarnbad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Padfarnbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle tin while unclean.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Run away from black sharks, for they are unholy.

4. Always wash your head before prayer.

5. Do not record secrets concerning comets.