Bognigartkip is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonourable cobra.

Bognigartkip created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Bognigartkip, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bognigartkip, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Bognigartkip's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bognigartkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Hide from fawn porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

5. Never travel toward the east during spring.