Zanlab is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, blissful mole.

Zanlab created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Zanlab, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zanlab, he will be very sad.

Zanlab's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Zanlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

2. Always store spinach above ground.

3. Do not keep seven mites in a large pit.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.