Vanflagsak is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, confident troll.

Vanflagsak created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanflagsak, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vanflagsak, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vanflagsak's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Vanflagsak's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Vanflagsak on top of all buildings.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about special relativity near aardvarks while wearing cyan stockings.