Bissyikshav Xucsitsat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-confident goat.

Bissyikshav Xucsitsat created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissyikshav Xucsitsat, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bissyikshav Xucsitsat, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bissyikshav Xucsitsat's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bissyikshav Xucsitsat's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never curse while facing west.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.