Mislimyik is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, kind gerbil.

Mislimyik created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mislimyik, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mislimyik, she will turn you into a rock.

Mislimyik's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Mislimyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while unclean.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always share onions with strangers, but never with voles.

4. Never mark doors with indigo.

5. Never cross crossroads at midday.