Wityokgub is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, emotional walrus.

Wityokgub created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wityokgub, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wityokgub, he will throw large rocks at you.

Wityokgub's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Wityokgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Wityokgub.

3. Do not keep four nematodes in a large pit.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Wityokgub in the centre of the settlement.