Yarpnakfetyak is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, competent hare.

Yarpnakfetyak created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpnakfetyak, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yarpnakfetyak, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yarpnakfetyak's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Yarpnakfetyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not eat bread.

5. Never eat bark.