Vidsatgab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciful turtle.

Vidsatgab created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidsatgab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vidsatgab, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vidsatgab's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Vidsatgab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Vidsatgab loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not consume carrots at dawn.

5. Never cross mountains at dusk.