Monsabsiscub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, clever hyena.

Monsabsiscub created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monsabsiscub, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Monsabsiscub, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Monsabsiscub's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Monsabsiscub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

3. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

4. Never mark doors with purple.

5. Erect four iron sculptures of Monsabsiscub on top of important buildings.