Tigfubbed is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unfair faun.

Tigfubbed created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigfubbed, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tigfubbed, he will curse you with boils.

Tigfubbed's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tigfubbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three pigs in a large pit.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.