Ladquatnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, witless mink.

Ladquatnarl created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladquatnarl, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ladquatnarl, she will send you a sign.

Ladquatnarl's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Ladquatnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.