Parkfatxuck is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, generous toad.

Parkfatxuck created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Parkfatxuck, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Parkfatxuck, it will destroy your home planet.

Parkfatxuck's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Parkfatxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Put Parkfatxuck first in all things.

2. Never stain your head with blue.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Parkfatxuck in the centre of the settlement.