Withaphapfatmidwigpin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, almighty penguin.

Withaphapfatmidwigpin created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Withaphapfatmidwigpin, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Withaphapfatmidwigpin, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Withaphapfatmidwigpin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Withaphapfatmidwigpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Always count to seven before sleeping.

3. Never record names.

4. Never paint your legs magenta.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.