Tabvogvidtonklantapstik is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, resourceful elephant.

Tabvogvidtonklantapstik created an electron four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabvogvidtonklantapstik, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tabvogvidtonklantapstik, it will turn you into a tree.

Tabvogvidtonklantapstik's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Tabvogvidtonklantapstik's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not name children after geese.

4. Always remove ear rings before touching silver.

5. Never touch blood while unclean.