Tongodcib is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring bear.

Tongodcib created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tongodcib, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tongodcib, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Tongodcib's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Tongodcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near manatees while wearing gray boots and balancing nine lead spheres on your legs.

2. Do not step barefoot upon blue earth.

3. Do not take Tongodcib's name in vain.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.