Tipjengat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent squirrel.

Tipjengat created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipjengat, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tipjengat, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tipjengat's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Tipjengat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Tipjengat loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

3. Tipjengat loves bats, so they must be respected.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never wear violet ear rings on sacred days.