Loplitjop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish hedgehog.

Loplitjop created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Loplitjop, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Loplitjop, she will turn you into a slug.

Loplitjop's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Loplitjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green kilts on sacred days.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.