Hontarnut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, all-powerful parrot.

Hontarnut created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hontarnut, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hontarnut, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hontarnut's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Hontarnut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump at crossroads.

2. You must love Hontarnut.

3. Never think about dark energy near squirrels while wearing red skirts and balancing three gold spheres on your neck.

4. Never adorn your hands with green markings.

5. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.