Tettipinbell is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omnipotent monkey.

Tettipinbell created Mount Everest four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettipinbell, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tettipinbell, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tettipinbell's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tettipinbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. You must love Tettipinbell.

4. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

5. Never eat grapes.