Quimtailven Tapjanzak is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving centipede.

Quimtailven Tapjanzak created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimtailven Tapjanzak, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quimtailven Tapjanzak, it will make you grow a tail.

Quimtailven Tapjanzak's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Quimtailven Tapjanzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

2. Do not prepare tomatoes while filled with joy.

3. Never mark doors with violet.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.