Cinkadfed is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, happy elephant.

Cinkadfed created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinkadfed, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cinkadfed, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cinkadfed's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Cinkadfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at dawn.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think about optics near monkeys while wearing green coats and balancing eight nickel spheres on your hands.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.