Vanfombiss is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, duplicitous spider.

Vanfombiss created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanfombiss, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vanfombiss, he will turn you into a worm.

Vanfombiss' most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vanfombiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

4. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.