Tikfatwig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, omniscient wyvern.

Tikfatwig created time and space nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikfatwig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tikfatwig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Tikfatwig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tikfatwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Never remain bowed at dusk.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.