Vonkyarppig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, dishonest hare.

Vonkyarppig created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkyarppig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonkyarppig, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vonkyarppig's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Vonkyarppig's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Do not consume parsnips at dawn.

3. Never gather eight swans near walls.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never think about nebulae.