Rilfebcim is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, overgenerous salamander.

Rilfebcim created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilfebcim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rilfebcim, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Rilfebcim's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Rilfebcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Run away if five frogs approach from the north.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.