Abfumfut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, bad-tempered donkey.

Abfumfut created the Milkyway three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Abfumfut, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Abfumfut, it will turn you into a rock.

Abfumfut's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Abfumfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine whales in one place.

2. Pray only in darkness.

3. Do not keep five doves in a large pit.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.