Bamweemin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, smart dolphin.

Bamweemin created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bamweemin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bamweemin, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Bamweemin's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bamweemin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bread on days of mourning.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bamweemin.

3. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.