Lamhabgatdavlinbop Ingvolrip is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish crow.

Lamhabgatdavlinbop Ingvolrip created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamhabgatdavlinbop Ingvolrip, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lamhabgatdavlinbop Ingvolrip, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Lamhabgatdavlinbop Ingvolrip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Lamhabgatdavlinbop Ingvolrip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant red sculpture of Lamhabgatdavlinbop Ingvolrip in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed lots of bananas to rats while wearing white shorts.

3. Do not place lentils upon stone.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not take Lamhabgatdavlinbop Ingvolrip's name in vain.