Matgupgum is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous badger.

Matgupgum created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matgupgum, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Matgupgum, it will turn you into a duck.

Matgupgum's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Matgupgum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never feed lots of lemons to monkeys while wearing brown corsets.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.