Teenfonrilwadsit is a god.

He takes the form of a large, blissful goat.

Teenfonrilwadsit created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenfonrilwadsit, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Teenfonrilwadsit, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Teenfonrilwadsit's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Teenfonrilwadsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of numbers.

2. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.

3. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.