Waplarpfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, idiotic dugong.

Waplarpfeb created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Waplarpfeb, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Waplarpfeb, it will curse you with boils.

Waplarpfeb's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Waplarpfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Never pray while filled with envy.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Do not record secrets concerning galaxies.