Dobpigtaf is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical badger.

Dobpigtaf created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobpigtaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dobpigtaf, she will make you grow a tail.

Dobpigtaf's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Dobpigtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Always remove boots before touching platinum.

4. Always act with patience.

5. Do not fashion tools from tin.