Omtdamcar is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, vain meerkat.

Omtdamcar created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtdamcar, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Omtdamcar, he will turn you into a dog.

Omtdamcar's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Omtdamcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick swans.

2. Do not wear jumpers marked with purple.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.