Konkemloop is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair capybara.

Konkemloop created the Black Eye Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Konkemloop, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Konkemloop, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Konkemloop's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Konkemloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. You must love Konkemloop.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.