Fuddaprulcattonzakfligrul is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving turtle.

Fuddaprulcattonzakfligrul created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Fuddaprulcattonzakfligrul, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fuddaprulcattonzakfligrul, she will not invite you to parties.

Fuddaprulcattonzakfligrul's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Fuddaprulcattonzakfligrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill porpoises.

2. Fuddaprulcattonzakfligrul must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fuddaprulcattonzakfligrul.

4. Never wear indigo hats on sacred days.

5. Never cross rivers at midnight.