Pigjamfum is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, tranquil dove.

Pigjamfum created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigjamfum, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pigjamfum, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pigjamfum's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Pigjamfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not laugh at forests.

3. Run away from gray badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Always look after injured porpoises.