Citsafmif is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, duplicitous manatee.

Citsafmif created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citsafmif, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Citsafmif, she will manifest in front of you.

Citsafmif's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Citsafmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare coconuts during winter.

2. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

3. Do not keep three dolphins in a large pit.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Do not name children after sheep.