Quimciphak is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, confident octopus.

Quimciphak created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quimciphak, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quimciphak, he will not invite you to parties.

Quimciphak's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Quimciphak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near dolphins while wearing green trousers.

3. Never approach rivers carrying bone.

4. Always cleanse oil with water.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.